Telma's Legacy

Claudia shows off her new Bible

Telma is one of my favorite ladies in the Loving InDeed program.  She is a teeny tiny little woman--her biggest feature is her beautiful smile.  In fact, I've never seen her without a smile on her face, even though she has had such an incredibly rough life.  Her six children are absolutely precious. How their father could ever dump them to be with some other woman is just beyond me!  Last Monday, Telma's 12 year old daughter, Claudia, shyly approached me to say that she'd memorized her 10 verses and would like to say them to me and win her Bible.  She said all 10 perfectly; I was so proud! In fact, she was the first female in Tuicogel to even attempt it.  But the story gets so much better!  After the study, Telma asked me for a ride down the mountain, and I gladly obliged.  She sent Claudia home with her siblings, and hopped in my car.  On the way down, she started to open up to me.  She told me that her mother had died very shortly after her birth.  She had been raised by her father who did not allow his daughters the opporutnity to have an education.  He preferred that they stay home and work his fields.  So sadly Telma has never been to school a day in her life and cannot read or write.  She told me how determined she was that each of her children would get to go to school. Having very little by way of physical possessions, an education was the one legacy she could give them. Then she hung her head and said, "The thing that bothers me the most is that I cannot read the Bible for myself.  I wish I could.  But my Claudia can read. (up came her head!)  She told me the other day,  'Don't worry, Mama.  I'm going to study my verses until I can say them all.  When I win my Bible, we'll sit down together, and I'll read it slowly so that we can both understand.'"  I wanted to cry.  I already loved Claudia--she is an absolute sweetheart--but that little story her mama told me ensured that I will do whatever it takes to make sure that Claudia gets to go to school for as long as she wants to. This morning Claudia chose her new Bible, while her mother sat behind her beaming with pride. 

                

What's even more wonderful is that three other ladies won Bibles this morning:  Imelda, Brisela, and Leysi.  The younger generation of women is gaining confidence in this remote village, and my heart is nearly bursting with joy!  I had 25 women in the Bible study this morning--young and old--and I got to help these four learn to use their new Bibles. What a thrill!  It still amazes me that God lets me do this.

             

                                                                                               

The Ugly

When I started this blog, I promised you that I wouldn't sugar-coat things. Life here isn't always sunshine and roses.  Sometimes it really stinks.  Today was one of those days.  Let me explain.

Every Tuesday is a food delivery day for the widows in the Loving InDeed program, so I went out to Chicol this morning for that. When I pulled in, I was surprised to see G* (for privacy) sitting in the shade waiting for me.  She had had a baby boy while I was in the states, and most Guatemalan women take at least 40 days of rest at home after a delivery.  G* had been sending someone else to pick up her food while she recuperated.  I had brought a gift for her and the new baby though, so I was excited to see her there.  When I got out of the car, she approached me, and I noticed that there was no baby tied to her back.  I greeted her and asked how the baby was.  "He's dead." Before I had a chance to say anything, she continued, "No, he's not dead, but I don't have him." And then she left and went to help the other women carry in the food, leaving me there with my mouth hanging open. Later on, I got the full story from her.  G* had to move in with her parents after her husband died. Later, she'd gotten pregnant again by some random guy who is long gone now.  Her father decided that didn't want another person in his house, so he forced her to give her baby away to her sister.  The sister lives in another village, is married, but has no children of her own.  G* had no say in the matter whatsoever.  Men make decisions in this country, not women. 

As soon as G* and I finished talking, O* came and sat down next to me.  A week ago I had given her daughter a scholarship application, and she just beamed!  She was  so very excited about the prospects of continuing to go to school. Today her mother informed me that she didn't want to go to school next year.  Knowing that was complete baloney, I kindly explained to O* that the money I had was ONLY for scholarships.  I think O* had it in her head that if she didn't send her daughter to school, I was just going to hand over all that money for them to use however they wanted.  O* looked disappointed, then went on to say that even so, her daughter didn't want to study.  I continued to push her...WHY did her daughter change her mind?  She had been so excited last week!  Then the truth came out.  (Understand that I'm using the word "truth" here very loosely.)  O* said that her daughter preferred to stay home and work in her grandfather's fields.  (which means that that's what HE wants) So this bright little girl will likely end up in the same boat as all the other women out there--married young, lots of babies, living in a shack, doing hard physical labor.  Honestly, I wanted to yell at her mother.  I was offering her daughter a way out!  A way to break this horrible cycle of poverty!  TAKE IT!!!  But truthfully, it wasn't up to O*.  Men rule supreme in this country.  Period.

Then just as I was about to leave, someone informed me that E* had gotten married last week.  This might have been joyful news were it not for the fact that I just talked to E* less than a month ago, and she had no boyfriend and no prospects for marriage. So whoever this guy is, it's someone she just up and decided to marry out of the blue, which breaks my heart. We've had so many talks about the importance of choosing your mate wisely.  FFF had recently bought her some land and was getting ready to bring in the water line and build the house.  Now she no longer qualifies for their program. Not only that, but she will no longer receive weekly food deliveries, and her adorable three year old daughter is the most malnourished child I've seen.  I can only hope that this new husband can provide for them.  

So there you have it.  I know you win some and you lose some, but three big losses in one day feels a little heavy.  I left today feeling angry and frustrated, but it's time to shake it off and start preparing for next week.  As always, I appreciate your prayer support, especially for discernment in dealing with these types of situations.  

Firstfruits

Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits 

of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, 

and your vats will be bursing with wine.  --Proverbs 3:9, 10

Last night I had the opportunity to go to one of my very favorite church services--the year end Firstfruits Service in the village of Suculque.  On the day of the service, the church doors open early and villagers in Suculque and the neighboring villages of Tres Cruces and Talmiche all converge on the church grounds to bring their offerings to the Lord.  By nightfall, the place is full of corn, beans, sugar cane, chickens, goats, cows, squashes, limes...you name it! Then during the service that night, Pastor Rafa and his wife, Xiomara, call groups of people--children, teens, women, then men--to come to the altar to deposit any financial gifts they may have brought into a big box. It is an incredibly special, powerful night.  I can't put into words what it means to me not only to be able to watch it, but to participate. I especially loved how Xiomara shared that we are no longer under OT law; that we get to bring our gifts to the Lord simply because we love Him. This particular Culto de Primisias (Firstfruits Service) was made even more special by the fact that my friend Kelvin was ordained as the new pastor there in Suculque. His kind, gentle nature has won the people over, and I am sure he will make a wonderful pastor.  As always, I left that service with a very full heart.

Then this afternoon I got to go up to Cochico for my friend Carlos Morales's graduation party.  In true Guatemalan fashion, it was less of a party and more of a church service. Carlos got a new motorcycle which will enable him to preach a whole lot more than he is able to now with the limited public transportation that is available in the remote village where he lives.  I wrote about it on facebook; maybe you saw it.  The thing is, I left a large part of that story out.  Sometimes I feel like people put me on a pedestal.  My intention was to avoid that, but in so doing, I think I did God a disservice.  The way He provides is nothing short of miraculous, and I want you to know the amazing thing He did!  So here it is--while the money to build the church in Cochico, and the money to help support Carlos's family while he studied, and the money to send him to seminary in the first place in large part came from special donors in the US, the new motorcycle was a gift that God let me give him. The supernatural part is how God enabled me to be able to do that.  See, a while back a friend gave me the Nissan Pathfinder that I currently drive.  That's right--they GAVE it to me. Free.  A 4x4 truck.  FOR FREE.  I'm still blown away every time I think about it. And honestly, I wanted to turn around and give away the Chevy Blazer I had been driving to another missionary for free. Pass the blessing along, so to speak.  But I knew that Carlos was desperate for transportation, so I prayed about it, and God gave me an idea.  I ended up selling the Blazer dirt cheap to a fellow missionary to help them out, and then I used the money I made off that sale to buy Carlos's motorcycle.  So to recap--someone in the states gave this friend of mine the money to buy the Pathfinder. This friend knew I needed a more powerful truck, so she told God that she'd give it to me for free if He provided her the money to get something else.  He did, so she kept her end of the deal and gave the Pathfinder to me.  I then sold the truck I had been using super cheap to another missionary who has since called me to tell me how much they LOVE it.  Then I used the money to buy Carlos a motorcycle. Carlos will use the motorcycle to preach the gospel in remote mountain places.  Souls will be reached for Christ.  And God started all of this chain of incredible blessing by touching someone's heart in the states to give, and that person obeyed.  Just hearing about this would be exciting, but God let me be a part of it!  Coolest. thing. ever. I have the BEST boss!  

Starfish

One day an old man was walking along the beach, when he noticed a young boy hurriedly picking things up and throwing them back in the water.  "Young man, what are you doing?" he asked. "Throwing starfish back in the ocean.  The tide is going out.  If I don't throw them back, they'll die," the boy replied. The old man laughed to himself and said, "Don't you realize that there are miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?  What you're doing won't make any difference." The boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the sea.
  "It made a difference to that one."  

--Loren Eisley

One of the things that discourages and overwhelms me the most working in this country is the sheer volume of the need. It never ends no matter what you do. It's exhausting if you focus on it for too long, and frankly it's hard to not focus on it when it's in your face every day. When I start feeling overwhelmed, I usually do two things: remind myself that even Jesus didn't fix everything when He was here on earth; He did only what his Father told him to do. And I focus on a single starfish. Tonight, that starfish is Marta.

If this was your kitchen,would you have a smile on your face?  I'm not sure I would.  I got frustrated by the constant mold in mine, and I have a whole room for a kitchen. I have dishes, cabinets, countertops, and a stove. I even have a faucet in there, and water usually comes out of it! I'm rich by comparison. What you see in that picture is 1/4 of Marta's whole house.  She lives there with 5 of her children. To say that it's sad is a major understatement.  And it isn't something we can fix overnight. But because of the combined efforts of Loving InDeed, Finding Freedom Through Friendship, and sweet people like Joel and Rachel Chance, this little corner of Marta's world now looks like this:

Marta got a decent new stove!  She no longer has to cook right in the dirt.  And this new one is vented outside--no more breathing in that awful wood smoke! Not only that, but Joel gave up his Saturday to weatherproof the house by nailing up boards on the outside to cover the giant gaps that were letting in the wind and rain. In the first picture, he was only half done--the wall behind Marta's head. But you can see how bad it was before by looking at the wall on the right.  Now look at those same walls in this picture--no more gaps! (We did run out of wood on the bottom, but I'll fix that later.)

While the improvements in Marta's home have truly made a great difference in their quality of life, I don't think that's the most important thing that we did for her.  I think that just caring about her for a day was more important-- teaching her kids how to pound in a nail, playing with her puppies, relaxing with ice creams together, sweating and getting filthy together, helping to share her burden for a day--those are the things that matter the most. I cannot possibly understand everything Marta goes through in a day, but I do know some of what it's like to not have a man around to help take care of things.  Can I take care of myself?  Of course I can. I've been doing it for a long time. But that doesn't mean I necessarily like it or that it's easy.  And I have all of you! I have a family who would do anything for me. I have friends who would go to great lengths to help me if something was wrong. I have a safety net, so to speak, even if it isn't a husband. I know I always have the Lord, but I'm trying not to hyper-spiritualize it. Sometimes you need someone with skin on, and I think that part of God's provision comes in the form of friends and family.  Marta does not have a great support system. So for a day, we--Joel, Rachel, Jody, Kathy, Gerry, Betsy, Paula, Jen, Kristin, Paul, Eileen, Carol, John, Stephanie, Bob, Peggy, Isha, Sue, Kevin, Cheryl, Kailah, Adam, Betty, Willa...and every other person who has ever supported FFF or LI--got to be that for her.  We got to carry her load, even if for just a little while.  So just for tonight, I'm trying to get my focus off the other 20 widows with their equally pressing needs (and the thousands of others who aren't in the program) and just be happy for this one little starfish that made it back to the sea. There will be time for other starfish tomorrow.

For more information on Finding Freedom Through Friendship, you can check out Jody's blog at: http://www.finding-freedom-through-friendship.org/

Loving InDeed Phase Two: Claudia's Story

The Bible says that God is pleased when we ask Him for big, hard things.  With that in mind, I'd like to announce that Loving InDeed is expanding!  LI began in August of 2014 to help meet the nutritional needs of indigenous families living in extreme poverty.  After the first year, it changed to specifically target widows with young children, since they are by far the most vulnerable among us. The ultimate goal of LI is and will always be introducing people to Jesus and helping them to grow in their faith.  But speaking from a humanitarian perspective, the purpose of Loving InDeed is 1) to enable the women in the program to become self-sufficient and 2) to empower young ladies by giving them opportunities that will prevent them from needing LI in the first place. Phase One addresses the immediate food crisis of the participants in the program. This is going well. So...I think it's time for Phase Two: a scholarship program!  

Check out those red, ripe coffee beans!

Meet Claudia.  She is one of my very favorite young ladies in all of Santa Barbara. She is so sweet, responsible, and mature that I honestly thought she was at least 20.  I was shocked to learn last week that she's only 15! She is the oldest of 5 beautiful girls, and she helps the family by working around the house, by working in the corn fields and coffee plantations, and sometimes by cleaning for wealthier people in the city.  I have known Claudia's family for 2 years now but had never heard their story until yesterday. When Claudia was a baby,  Rogelio, her father, got very sick.  His family had no money for medical care, so he suffered in bed at home for years.  He told me with tears in his eyes that many people mocked his wife for staying with him. He said, "I felt bad that I couldn't provide, so I told her she could leave and find someone else if she wanted to, but she never left my side." People also mocked them for refusing to seek healing with local witchdoctors. After many years of fervent prayer, Rogelio and his wife decided to fast for three days. God answered. After being bedridden for so long, Rogelio was finally able to get out of bed! They still have no idea what he had, but the disease left his legs very twisted and his right foot completely useless.  He can stand and walk, but not without great difficulty. Needless to say, this makes it impossible for him to find a job here, so he sustains his family by farming his own small piece of land.  

Guatemala only provides a free education up to the sixth grade. After that, the only option is private school, which is completely out of reach for the vast majority of indigenous families. There isn't even a high school in Santa Barbara to attend if one could afford it.  The only option is to come in to the city of Huehue which adds transportation costs to the already hefty expense of schooling.  So the sixth grade was the end of the line for Claudia, even though she desperately wanted to continue her education. Without further education, she will likely marry young and be resigned to a life of having babies and then working the fields in order to help her husband provide for them.  There is not one thing wrong with that if that is the life you choose.  But I hate it that so many of these girls are forced into that life because there simply is nothing else to choose.  Then when tragedy strikes, they have nothing left to fall back on, which is the type of situation that necessitated the creation of LI in the first place. But I believe in Claudia. I believe that she is the very best choice to begin Phase Two.  She is smart, hard-working, and dependable. There is not one doubt in my mind that she will be a good student. She wants to be an elementary school teacher--a noble profession--and I desperately want to help her get there.  Will you join me?  The yearly cost of a high school education here depends on the career you want to pursue and the school you choose. It can be anywhere from $1000-$2000 a year.  Claudia's school of choice is on the cheaper end of that, costing around $1100.  This includes her inscription, books, uniforms, materials, monthly fee, and transportation back and forth to school.  If you'd like to help Claudia achieve her dreams, you can do so by scrolling up and clicking on the CTEN link on the right to donate. School here begins in January, so now's the time to get her enrolled. Every little bit helps! If you choose to donate to further Claudia's education, please leave a comment below, email me, or send me a facebook message so I know to put your donation towards this project.   I'm so excited to see what God has in store for Claudia and her family, and I'm grateful that He allows us to be a part of it!  Phase Three--the construction of a local ministry center coming in 2016. Stay tuned! 

Mama Elena

I like statistics; numbers don't lie. Tonight I made a spreadsheet on the health of all 71 of my Loving InDeed kids.  The software I have from the World Health Organization gives each child a number and a color based on his/her gender, age, weight, and height. Green is fine, yellow is iffy, red is severe, black is in serious danger and really should be hospitalized. Kids in red or black are not only constantly sick, much more lethargic than their peers, and stunted physically, but they are also affected mentally.  They cannot focus in school, so their ability to learn is greatly inhibited.  This is how the cycle of poverty and chronic malnutrition is perpetuated.  88% OF MY KIDS ARE IN RED OR BLACK.  In fact, I have more in black than I have in red.  It sickens me. To me, these numbers have faces and names. Claudia. Gilberto. Silvia. Delena. Yadira. Lorenzo. These are kids I chase, and tickle, and hug. These are my friends' babies. My heart just aches for them.

Although it doesn't sound like it, today was actually a good Loving InDeed day. It wasn't until I got back home and really looked at the data that Dr. Alby and Jessie gave me that I got mad. While Alby and Jessie did their thing, I divvied out the food and then got to sit outside in the grass just chatting with Esperanza, Olga, and Candelaria while they waited to see Alby.  It seems like they finally see me as a woman, mother, and maybe even friend instead of a strange, white alien. They talked to me like I was an actual person. It was nice! At one point, I told Candelaria how pleased I was to see that her son, 5 year old Angel, had gotten quite a bit taller in the last three months, and his cheeks had filled out some.  Angel smiled at me, then buried his head in his mama's neck and whispered something in her ear.  After a few seconds, Candelaria looked at me and said, "Angel says that he's growing because his Mama Elena brings him eggs." Immediately my mind went back to a moment several years ago, before Guatemala had even flickered across my radar. I was at the altar in a church where the pastor did not know me.  He walked in front of me, looked me right in the eye, and said, "Someday you will be a mama to many." At the time, I thought it was strange, but his words instantly came to mind when I heard Candelaria say "Mama Elena." (Elena is what most people call me here because my real name is very difficult for them to say.) I shared with the three ladies sitting with me what the pastor had told me all those years ago, and they all shook their heads. "He's a prophet."  It was such a sweet moment. Such a sweet thing for little Angel to say. I'll never forget it.

  

"When we draw near to the "least of these" our call is not first to ‘make a difference’ but to allow the pain of that encounter to disturb us. All of us bear the image and stamp of our Creator God. The least of these are image-bearers and what I do for them I do for God." 

Marilyn Gardner

Adonai Junior

Sometimes to escape life in Huehue, we drive the two hours to Xela, the next closest big city to us.  Huehue is stunningly beautiful, but unless we're working or exploring it can be pretty boring around here. On the other hand, Xela (or Quetzaltenango if you want it's official name) has bowling, a movie theater, and even a Pizza Hut!  It's almost like being in America...almost.  On the way there, we pass by this little tienda, and it cracks us up every. single. time.  I mean really--Adonai Junior? People around here typically name their little stores after themselves, so presumably the owner of this place is Adonai Junior.  LORD OF THE UNIVERSE.  Junior.  Who names their kid that? It just seems a little...I don't know...presumptuous or something.  But it's good for comic relief when we're tired of being on the road. 

Today while searching through my photos, I came across this one, and it made me chuckle all over again. But then I got to thinking about it. Isn't that really the goal?  To live my life in such a way that it points people to Jesus? To be so Christ-like that people feel like they know God better just for having been around me?  To be a little Adonai Junior?  Ephesians 5:1-2 says, "be imitators of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, just as Christ also loved and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God..."  How are you doing in the imitating God department? I'm afraid I'm falling woefully short. The older I get, the more I realize life is less about DOING and more about BEING.  Kind of ironic since I find myself busier than ever these days.  But all of the things I am busy doing--even if most of them are ministry related--aren't as important as being like Jesus.  And being like Jesus is something we can all do whether we work directly in full-time ministry or not.  I'm quite sure that passing by this tienda will still make me snicker, but now along with it will come a twinge of conviction. There's a name I'm supposed to be living up to.  Christian...follower of Christ...Adonai Junior...

What's With The Name?

So Kept is a pretty strange name for a blog, I know.  Let me explain.  There seem to be a lot of people who think that missionaries are superhuman (or at the very least superchristian), that we lead ultra-exciting lives (like Indiana Jones with a Bible), and that we never struggle with doubt, unbelief, or sin.  I can’t really speak for anyone else, but that description certainly does not apply to THIS missionary.  I assure you that I am as ordinary as ordinary can be.  Just ask my little sister; she’ll tell you.  Actually, please don’t.  She knows too much!

Lately I have been struggling a lot with doubt and unbelief.  I feel like the father of the demon possessed boy in Mark 9:24 who cried out to Jesus, “I believe!  Help my unbelief!” I doubt whether I am really the right person for this job.  I doubt whether God hears me when I pray.  I doubt He’s willing to forgive me for that same sin…AGAIN.  I know what Scripture has to say about those things.  But when I don’t remind myself of the truth—and OFTEN—it seems like I slip back into my default patterns of doubt. 

I am a big fan of John Piper.  The other day I was listening to him online as he was discussing I Peter 1.  I’m including the link to this short teaching at the bottom of this blog because it was powerful. I have listened to it three times in the last 24 hours.  Do yourself a favor and check it out. It was verses 3-5 in particular that grabbed my attention.  “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you who are KEPT by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.”   I don’t want to spoil it for you—you should take 15 minutes to go listen to it yourself—but John Piper’s point is that God doesn’t just save us.  He keeps us.  God Himself guards His children by preserving and sustaining their faith.  He keeps me by keeping my faith.  I can relax. I will wake up a Christian tomorrow morning, not because I deserve to be, not because I never struggle with doubt, and not if I can work up enough faith on my own.  I will wake up a Christian tomorrow morning because “He who began a good work in me will complete it.” I am not only saved, I am kept.  Held.  Guarded.  Protected.  And the truth of that was something I don't know that I've ever really pondered before.  Now I can't stop thinking about it!    

So there you have it.  That’s why I chose such a strange name for my new blog.  I can’t promise how often I’ll write here.  In fact, I had a blog about 4 years ago with three whole entries.  I think google gave up on me and deleted it.  But I do promise that when I write, I will be honest with you about missionary life here in the mountains of Guatemala—the good, the bad, the ugly, and the freakishly strange (which is what I get more often than not).

http://www.desiringgod.org/messages/why-your-faith-will-not-fail?utm_medium=feed&utm_source=feedpress.me&utm_campaign=Feed:+dg-articles#full-audio