Peace At The Border

Things that you would think should be simple and straightforward in this country are not.  It can take hours to get a bill paid, road rules just don't apply, and you cannot expect common sense to be the rule of thumb.  Usually things are the opposite of what you'd think they'd be.  I don't know a missionary here who has not been frustrated by this a time or two...or ten...or a hundred...you get my drift.  

On Thanksgiving Day, Jessie and I spent hours out at the new land trying to get it accurately measured and transfer the deed.  Would you believe it's still not completely done?  I hope to finalize things with the lawyer later today and have a deed in my hand soon.  In the meantime, I have my new neighbors to deal with.  It seems that everyone is very kind and wants to have a friendly relationship, minus two sisters, Magdalena and Gloria, who jointly control the 200+ foot driveway with me. Magdalena doesn't even live on her property and never uses the driveway; Gloria lives up by the street and uses about 10 feet of it.  However, in an effort to make my life difficult, they have constructed a fence right smack dab down the middle of the entire driveway.

On left:  from the main road.
On right:  from the bottom of the property looking up

They know that this is illegal, and they will eventually have to take it down. They also know that it take an effort on my part to force them to do so.  I wish I could tell you that my first response was a godly one, but it wasn't.  I really wanted to tear up the fence myself and throw it in Gloria's back yard with a note: "This is what I think of your fence!" Instead, I chose to pretend I didn't even see it and walked on through to my property to show it off to my mom who was visiting at the time. Later I realized that it would be far better to call the authorities and let them deal with it and to kill the neighbors with kindness in the meantime.  At what point in your adult life as a Christian does the godly response pop into your head first? My mom and my CTEN peeps say never.

  *sigh*  So depressing...

At any rate, the Christian response did eventually occur to me, but I have had no time to respond at all yet, and it's been a week.  This has turned out to be a good thing, I think.  Last night, God brought this phrase to my attention when I was perusing an article someone posted on facebook. Ps. 147:14  "He makes peace in your borders..."  More than anything, my neighbors need the Lord and ripping up their fence is probably not going to do much to draw them to Christ.  I'm also thinking that maybe I shouldn't call the local authorities at this point either.  In lieu of that, I'm going to take some time to pray about it and ask the One who is really in charge to bring peace to my borders.  He is the only one who really can.  And quite honestly, it's exhausting trying to solve all your own problems!  Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.  So tomorrow my plan is just to go on about my business as usual.  After the food delivery, I will take some of the widows with me and deliver some extra food to Gloria and just see what God does.  I know I can count on you all the help me pray about it, and I'll let you know how God answers!

Corn, Corn, Corn

Corn being dried for next year's crop.

     When people ask me what they can pray for on my behalf, I almost always give the same answer: wisdom and discernment.  God doesn't seem to be in the habit of asking us to do easy things, and without His help, Loving InDeed would be a mess.   So I thank the many people back home who are praying specifically for wisdom for me.  I thought of you all the other day when God gave me the solution to a sticky situation.  

      After a food delivery last week, Juliana, one of the LI moms, asked me (through my assistant because she speaks very little Spanish) if she could borrow some money.  That is not something I ever do for the widows in the program.  If I opened that door, I could never shut it again.  I asked her what the money was for, and she said she'd run out of corn.  Corn here is of infinite importance; it's their staple food.  Even though tortillas have the nutritional value of a cardboard box, they do fill you up.  When you're hungry all the time, you need all the carbs you can get.  When my rural Guatemalan friends say, "We're out of corn" what they're really saying is, "We expect to be dead soon." This is how seriously they take the situation. This particular woman has 6 kids, all of them underweight except the baby who is still nursing. I did not want them to be without corn, but I knew I absolutely could not set the precedent of giving her money.  I also knew that if I delivered a sack of corn to her house, the following week everyone would be "out of corn." Like any other small community, there is no such thing as private business in Tuipic. So I prayed, and I reminded myself that bunches of you were praying for wisdom for me too. I thought about the story of Solomon in the Bible---you know the one where the two women were each claiming to be the mother of an infant, so Solomon decided to cut the baby in half, knowing that the real mother would step forward and offer to give her baby to the other woman before allowing it to be cut in half.  I was hoping God would give me such a creative solution.  And He did!

Juliana's oldest daughter, Yenifer, wants
desperately to get off this giant pile of dirt but
is losing her skirt with every step.  Such a
little dolly!  I had to go rescue her.

     God gave me the idea to buy two 100 pound sacks of corn and have a drawing.  Each winner would get one sack of corn delivered to their home.  I intended to make sure that Juliana was one of the winners.  I know what you're thinking--rigging a drawing is dishonest!  But you can't tell me that Solomon was actually going to cut that baby in half either, so I don't feel too terrible about it.  As it turns out, I actually DID draw Juliana's name.  I wish I'd had the camera ready to capture the look on her face when I called her name!  See, what I didn't know was that after telling her no the previous week, my sweet assistant told her that she didn't need to look around for someone else to borrow money from--that what she needed to do was talk to God about it and watch Him provide. (That was also pretty convicting for me because I hadn't thought to pray with Juliana about this.)  So Juliana decided not to ask other people for money and just pray instead. God answered her prayer by providing a job for her son.  Normally people in rural areas earn Q50 (about $6.50) for full day of hard physical labor. (Yes, for a FULL DAY...not an hour.) Women and kids are paid less.  Juliana's son worked less than a full day and was paid Q100 on the spot, which is almost enough to buy a sack of corn.  And then Juliana won corn in the drawing!  It couldn't have worked out more beautifully, and Juliana's joy radiated from her face. God says He is the Father of orphans and the Defender of Widows. It's amazing to witness His special care for the most vulnerable among us firsthand. 

**Bonus points for the person who can tell me what movie the title of this blog comes from!

A Blind Eye

Sometimes it's easier to turn a blind eye.  After all, ignorance is bliss, right?  So we fidget on our phones or in our purses at stoplights, pretending we don't see the person begging there. We avert our gaze from the homeless person under the bridge and just go about our business.  I'm not judging; I do it too.  I rationalize it by telling myself that I can't save everyone, that people make choices and sometimes those choices have dire consequences, and it isn't my fault if...and blah, blah, blah.  

As a matter of fact, I did this just last night, when I got discouraged.  You all know that the piece of land that adjoins the piece I just bought for LI is up for sale, and a coyote wants it. (A coyote is a person who preys on people living in poverty, charging them an outrageous sum to take them to the states illegally to pursue the great American dream.  These people essentially become his slaves until they can pay him back.  If they get stopped and deported, they still have to pay the coyote or he takes everything they have.  Sometimes drugs and human trafficking are also involved.) Mr. Coyote recently got "detained" by the police in Guatemala City with 8 illegals, so now his plan is to reroute people through Huehue, into Mexico, and on into San Antonio. The land that's for sale is 5 minutes off the main highway, and right in the middle of a poor community where he can prey on more desperate people.  He wants to build a holding place for people in transit and put in a mini casino where locals can drink and gamble. I am pretty anxious to thwart that evil plan, but I need about $25K and have about $10K.  So last night I decided that maybe God was closing the door, and I needed to adjust to the idea of having this guy right next door.  It makes me sick to think of it....walking by there every day, watching people throw away what little money they have drinking and gambling, wondering what's happening to the people inside the warehouse.. if there's someone in there against their will, if they're also storing drugs in there...but I had convinced myself that maybe I'd just have to turn a blind eye to it all and focus on the ministry center. That is, until I called two good friends who were willing to be honest with me and tell me that I was giving up too soon...that when God closes a door, He doesn't just gently close it, He slams it, and He hasn't done that yet...that it's not my place to give Him a timeline...and to TRY HARDER. Today I'm thanking God for these two friends of mine, and I'm ready to try again!

See, I really don't think it's ok to turn a blind eye to this.  And I think God agrees with me. This is what He has to say about it: 

If you falter in a time of trouble, how small is your strength!  Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering towards slaughter.  If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not He who weighs the heart perceive it?  Does not He who guards your life know it?  Will He not repay everyone according to what they have done?  (Proverbs 24)

There are three types of people mentioned in those verses:  those who are being led away to destruction, those going of their own free will, and those who know it and pretend they don't. I don't want to be in any one of those three groups! It is true that the area of Santa Barbara where I work is full of coyotes, bars, and narco-traffickers. I know where some of the bars are, and I can guess who the coyotes and narcos are, but I don't know for sure.  It's not right under my nose, and it isn't something I can stop. But this one guy--this one piece of property--this one potential evil--we CAN do something about. And I think we should.  We can't sit back and pretend we don't know what will go on there. So until the day that God slams that door shut and someone else signs the deed to that land, I'm going to keep trying to raise the money to buy it for Loving InDeed and do something positive with it.  So many of you are praying about this, and I'm so grateful!  This is spiritual warfare, and "the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." Please don't stop! And so many of you have already generously donated to this effort.  I can't thank you enough. Ask any missionary anywhere what they dislike the most about their job, and they'll tell you fundraising.  I know that asking for donations is offering people the chance to be a part of something they usually can't physically be a part of--to join God in the work He is doing around the world--to store up treasure in Heaven...but the asking is still hard.  It's probably a pride thing, honestly.  But I want you to know that I'm contributing my own money to this effort too.  I believe that buying this out from under the coyote is the right thing to do.  I believe God will supply what we need.  And I believe that when God said that "he who is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and He will repay him for his deed," He means it.   Every little bit helps!  And while we down here will never be able to pay you back, God can, and He will.  

Donations can be made by going to www.cten.org/lynnannmurphy and clicking on the donate button. I'd also love to hear from those of you who are praying about this.  I need all the encouragment I can get these days!  

The Big Announcement

Because the shot is panoramic, the land appears curved when truly it is a large rectangle.
 Not all of it fits in the picture, but it's everything in front of the yellow line and then some. 

I have finally found land for Loving InDeed, and the title will be transferred to me on Monday!!  Know what's funny about it?  It has been under my nose for months, and I never even knew it was there.  Let me back up...

You'd think that land in a rural community in a third world country would be cheap, but it certainly is not in Santa Barbara.  That municipality is the poorest in all of Huehue.  Most of the land that people own out there they received as an inheritance.  Knowing they're unlikely to have the money to buy more land in the future, they are hesitant to sell what they do have. Then add to that the coyotes (men who take people to the states illegally and charge an OUTRAGEOUS sum to do so) and the narcos who come through and throw big money at people so that they can buy land right along the edge of the main road.  They build big homes and drive their fancy vehicles in and out to entice people with a big show of wealth. The combination of these two things has driven land prices out there through the roof.  The going rate for about 270 square feet of land on the edge of that main road (which is a dirt road, but a very important one) is close to nine thousand dollars.  For that reason, I have not even looked at land on that main road, even though the location is perfect.

I had noticed a for sale sign on some scruffy buildings on the other side of the road from the church, but I assumed they were selling the buildings themselves. The other day a woman I don't even know told me that the buildings weren't for sale--the land behind them was.  I went back there, and was amazed at what I found.  I had my assistant call the owner, who sent his aunt out to show us roughly where the borders of the land were.  While there, we called the owner again, and they put him on the phone with me.  I was afraid to ask the price, honestly. Given the size of the property in question and the going rate, I knew I couldn't afford it.  Then my accent gives me away as a "rich American" and usually the price goes even higher.  Imagine my surprise, when the owner, Amilcar, gave me a price and then lowered it, and lowered it, and lowered it some more once he found out what I wanted it for! Turns out he is a Christian man who now lives and works in Guatemala City and would love to bless his home community.  The price he offered me for the land was phenomenal--less than half of what it is worth.  Still, it was a whole lot of money to spend.  I wanted time to pray and think about it.  And  I asked God for a sign. I told him, "If Amilcar initiates another phone call, and lowers the price by another ten thousand quetzales, I'll know."  Wouldn't you know that that's exactly what happened the next day? Amilcar has another person offering him nearly sixty thousand quetzales more than I can pay for this same land, and he's going to forego that extra money so he can sell to me!  And he reminded me that land along the sides of that road is only going to increase in value because it's next on the list to be paved.  

Taken from quite a distance, so it looks
smaller than it is.  I'll have exact
measurements on Monday, but I already
took some preliminaryones, and it is plenty
 big enough for what I need to put on it. 

The beauty of this little spot is that it is three minutes off the main highway, right off the main dirt road that goes up to the municipal head of Santa Barbara, is right across the street from the church, but because of the row of buildings out front, you'd never know anything worth having was back there. The land gently slopes down to my piece so that I can't see or hear the road from this property, I won't get all the dust in dry season, and my kids can safely run around and play out front.  There's a private driveway that goes directly to the property, and no one else back there owns a vehicle, so I'll be the only one using it. The land is relatively flat, which is next to impossible to find out there. Because of it's nearness to the river, I will not have to dig deep to hit water when I put in a well.  My closest neighbor only had to go down 12 meters. It even has two full grown trees, several small trees, and two lime trees!  It's beautiful.  And it's soon to be mine, primero Dios!  I'm so excited!  I have already sent off my very rough ministry center design to my friend Joel who is an architect.  He has very generously agreed to draw up the plans for free.  Things are beginning to fall into place!

Please pray that everything Sunday afternoon and Monday goes smoothly.  Amilcar is traveling up from the city on Sunday so we can go out to the property together and measure everything precisely and make sure the property markers are in place.  Monday we'll meet with the lawyers to sign the paperwork.   Also,  Amilcar's brother owns an adjoining piece of land that is equal in size to the land I'm buying.  I can't shake the feeling that God is going to work it out for Loving InDeed to have that piece too, even though I don't have the money for it.  Pray!  Things are about to get crazy down here! Or maybe I should say crazier!

Soon to be the view from my office!!

No Other Gods

Last Wednesday we went up to El Papal to have our monthly Bible study.  On the way there, we have to drive by one particularly high hill that we like to climb up on because the views from there are spectacular.  You can literally see for miles and miles in any direction, and the three giant volcanoes you can see from up there look like specks off in the distance.  For me, it's like looking up at the night sky--it makes me feel very small and gives me the tiniest glimpse of the grandeur of God. There's one thing about that hill though that tears me up:  it's dedicated to the worship of false gods.  You can see evidence of it in the picture at the top of this post. The two dark spots you see in the foreground are where a Mayan witch has performed ceremonies to invoke the favor of their gods by sacrificing various things in fire, among them chicken eggs.  You can see the remains of the shells there on the ground. Sometimes we can see where offerings of food and flowers have been left in the cleft of the jagged rocks up here, like in the picture on the right. I can't go up there without thinking of Elijah on Mt. Carmel showing up all the prophets of Baal by calling on the one true God.  I always like to pray up there, just to spite the devil.

When we speak of idolatry in the American church today, we define it as anything that isn't God that takes the #1 spot in your heart, be it money, your career, another person...and that's true. But somehow as a kid, I got the idea that actual physical idols don't really exist anymore other than maybe Buddha.  Being in the highlands of Guatemala and seeing the worship of actual idols with my own eyes really blew my mind. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to see it; I can feel the presence of evil.  It makes my skin crawl.  Maximón is one of the worst.  Here he is over on the left. You can tell how people worship him just by looking at the offerings left at his feet. Maximón is a bully that people do not wish to anger.  They feel that prayers for revenge or success at the expense of someone else are likely to be granted by him.  What's worse is that this wickedness has infiltrated some of the catholic churches here.  When the Spaniards conquered Guatemala, they brought catholicism with them.  In an attempt to pacify the Mayan people, they blended some aspects of the two religions.  You'll find a statue of the virgin Mary in the same room with Maximón, with the same sorts of offerings being given to her. In Chichicastenango, you will always see a Mayan witch in the door of the catholic church burning incense. (see pics at very bottom) In turn, the Mayans have incorporated the cross and the dove in their worship (see pics of Mayan priest. Note: The 2 photos of the Mayan priest are pictures of pictures. I didn't take the originals.). So now what we have in Guatemala, especially in the more rural areas, is a wicked mix of witchcraft and catholicism--a system where the gods have to be appeased and can be called on to invoke curses or bring blessings, depending on which god you're talking to in the moment.  This idolatry and witchcraft can be seen all over the place here.  Even people who claim the name of Christ have been known to consult witches because it's just engrained in them.  For many, it's how they grew up, and leaving that practice behind can be very difficult. I can't begin to explain the deep sadness that seeing this with your own eyes brings to your soul.  

Such devotion...and all for nothing. 

The Lord is God; beside Him there is no other.

1.  A statue of the virgin Mary found in the same room with Maximon.  Money stuffed in between her fingers.
2.  A Mayan ceremonial altar incorporating the Christian cross.
3.  A Mayan witch in the door of the catholic church with her fire and incense.

A Home For Juana

Rogelio and Wilmar put the finishing touches on Juana's new home

I have had the privilege of living and working in Guatemala for just over six years now. During that time, there have been a few special moments that will remain forever in my heart no matter where I go:  the time I got to witness Desi's baptism in a damned up mountain stream in the middle of nowhere surrounded by people speaking in Mam...the time I delivered baby Sochi by the light of my iphone...the day I got to cut the ribbon when we dedicated the new church in Cochico.  Such amazing experiences I've had here!  Last Wednesday was another one of those times that I'll never forget:  we prayed over and blessed Juana's completed house, and she started to move in. It has taken me a couple of days to process this enough to even be able to write about it. 

People spread out to pray over each wall of Juana's new
home.  Marina is Juana's best friend and couldn't contain
her tears of joy!  The two men praying over the front door
and wall are part of the construction crew.

To fully appreciate all that this means, you have to know a little bit of Juana's story.  She grew up in a very abusive home.  Her father was (and remains) a drunk; her mother was too beaten down by life to defend her children. As soon as Juana turned 16, she ran away to the city to find work.  She scraped and saved every penny so that she could buy a little piece of land for herself and escape from her family. Before she could do anything with that land, she met and married a man who ultimately abandoned her when she was pregnant with their first child.  He later died in the desert trying to get to the US.  Her in-laws promptly kicked her out of their house, even though she was expecting their first grandchild.  Her son, Angel, has never been an accepted part of their family and never even knew his father.  Juana and Angel have been forced to bounce back and forth between her various family members for the last 12 years, staying until their hosts were sick of them and then forced to move on.  Most recently, she has been living with a younger brother who decided he no longer wanted them underfoot when he brought his girlfriend home.  The land she could afford to purchase all those years ago was a tiny plot on a very steep, lonely hill with no road access, and no water nearby.

But God...

New beds, mattresses, and a stove vented outside!

Juana and Angel now have a secure home on a new plot of land with one of the most amazing views of anyone I know. More than a dozen church family members and her pastor came last Wednesday to dedicate the house, and it was unlike anything I'd ever seen.  We prayed, cried, sang, prayed some more, ate, cried again...we were all so truly happy that something good had finally happened for this sweet mom and her son who have suffered for so long.   I can't tell you how wonderful it makes me feel to know that they'll never have to sleep on the floor of a dank room in the house of someone who doesn't really want them there.  Their new house comes complete with two new beds, blankets, pillows, towels, a stove, a table and chairs, kitchen supplies, a pila (giant cement sink sort of thing for washing dirty clothes and dishes), a cement floor, and a private, clean latrine.  I know that in my little corner of the world, there are still thousands of starfish stranded on the beach, but these two are now safely back in the ocean.  It makes my heart happy.

Most of the church crew who came to pray over the new house.  Pastor
Bacilio is the handsome fella in front with the cowboy hat, squatting
next to Juana.  Notice the big smile on her face!

To any of you who have ever sent me a dime, thank you is so very inadequate.  You allow me to not only be here, but to help people in a very real, tangible way.  Sometimes people ask me how many people have gotten saved as a direct result of my ministry.  I wish I could answer that question, but I can't.  I have shared the gospel in Bible studies, in sermons, in conferences, in youth events, and one on one, but no one has ever responded publicly, so it's not a number I can count.  But I will tell you this--in poverty-stricken areas like Santa Barbara, generally speaking, families stick together and take care of their own.  They don't share because there isn't enough to go around.  So when word gets out that the people in one little church are blessing the neediest of people around them, it brings people in.  They want to know what's different.  Building Juana's house was no exception.  In fact, one of Juana's own brothers got curious about why people were going out of their way to help his sister, so he came to church two Sunday's ago and ended up getting saved!  The real beauty of Loving InDeed is that the assistance people receive points them to Jesus, the father of orphans, defender of widows, healer of the brokenhearted, and friend of the sinner.  

Watching Miracles

View from the land I really want to buy for the LI ministry center.  Look at those mountains and all that green!

You would not believe what God did yesterday! Remember last week I told you about the cocode (community leader) guy who wanted me to buy land, put it in the name of the community so anyone could use it, and then give him a little bribe? Turns out that there's gossip going around out in that area that there's a white girl wanting to buy land because she wants to mine it, and he wants to make sure that doesn't happen. Where does this nonsense start? Good grief...the only thing out there in those hills is goat poop. I don't think that's terribly valuable. At any rate, we have different levels of community government here, just like in the states. That particular cocode was a very small fish. The other day a very LARGE fish in that pond, a man named Mateo, somehow got a hold of my name and number and called me personally to ask me to please not leave the area and take my program elsewhere. He apologized profusely for the confusion. I invited him to the church yesterday to talk with me face to face since I was going to be out there anyway for the medical mission. He came with another community leader friend of his, and I was so impressed with these guys! Mateo is a cocode of the first level which means that he is right underneath the #1 man in the entire municipality (like our counties). He has four communities under his direct authority, he has headed up multiple development projects including things relating to fruit trees, gardening, and various critters, and he is an evangelical pastor. He is wanting me to move the program to another area of Santa Barbara where he promises he will give me a place to put the ministry center. I explained why I can't do that (I'd lose all the families I currently have because it's too far for the ladies to walk), but told him I'd be open to possibly starting another branch of the program in his area. He also said he'd help me find land down in the area where I am looking because he has some measure of authority and many contacts down there too. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation, and it will be wonderful to have a Christian indigenous man with his level of authority on my side. God is giving me favor in Santa Barbara that would have taken me years to build up on my own. I can't begin to explain to you how very hard it is for a foreigner to win the trust of the Mam population here because they have been so mistreated for so long. 

Pastor Bacilio and Joel checking out the land

Then (and this is the AMAZING part!!) we were talking about areas that are still untouched by the gospel. I told him that someone had told me of a village called Pabatzlom where there is no church of any kind. I only have a very vague idea where it is and a crude map. (By crude I mean a line with an X and the word "cemetery" on it.) This village has been on my mind for months now, but I have had no time to go exploring to try to find it. My plan was to try to visit there, see for myself that there is no church within walking distance for them, and if not, try to get my foot in the door by bringing Loving InDeed there for 6 months like I did in Tuicogel. Once the people get to know me and get comfortable with me, I could try to start a Bible study. The trick is actually finding this place! Would you believe that not only does Mateo know where Pabatzlom is--HE'S THE COCODE THERE TOO! I was completely blown away that God would place this contact right in front of me--I didn't even have to go look! I still have no idea how this man got my name or phone number. 

The first time, the only property for sale was above the yellow line.  This time it includes the land below the land
 and a whole lot more that you can't see.  There's no way to get it all in the picture!  I'd own both sides of the river
 there and several mature fruit and coffee trees.  It's gorgeous, quiet, fertile...perfect! 

All this to let you know that God is working all these details out for Loving InDeed and for the people of Santa Barbara. As far as the land goes, I have pretty much decided against pursuing the 5+ acres I found the other day. There is no way for me to really know who is the ethical owner of that land, and I have no desire to get in the middle of a family fued. The piece I looked at before that one and LOVED (the place with all the fruit trees and the river) is now back on the table. My issue with that chunk was that it was too small, but the owner's father owns the neighboring land, and he is now offering me another piece. The site is stunning, fairly level (which is a HUGE perk and nearly impossible to find in that area), it already has electricity, and water is close to the surface of the land making a well fairly simple. It also has road access. It is PERFECT. Joel, my architect friend, went out there with me yesterday to have a look, and he loved it too. In his opinion, there is plenty of room for the center I want to build (I had already drawn up a detailed sketch with measurements) and plenty of outdoor space left for greenhouses, little barns, and places for the kids to play. The only glitch is the price they are asking. Pray with me that they come down to something more reasonable! If this ends up not working out (although I really think it eventually will), Mateo is going to be looking for land for me too. Please keep praying that God would give me discernment in these matters and continued favor with people in authority out there. And I don't mind telling you that I'm in over my head with the Bible studies, the constructions, the scholarship program, the general running of the food program, the home visits, the search for land, the reading/math program...I desperately need more help. What I really need is a Guatemalan man with a driver's license, his own pickup truck, and a need for a job so I can hand the construction stuff off to someone else. Your prayers for these things and my sanity are greatly appreciated!

The Streams

One of my favorite little
LI munchkins

Loving InDeed has blossomed beyond my wildest dreams, and it’s getting ready to explode even more!  I have such exciting news to share!  So let me back up a little and explain what you and I have already accomplished together and where we're headed from here…

Loving InDeed was never meant to be a long-term welfare type of program; my goal has always been to help people become self-sufficient.  There are several steps in that process. The first is to get the widows out of the emergency situation that they are in--their kids are horribly malnourished, and they do not have the means to provide for them.  LI has been working on that with weekly food deliveries, medical care, vitamins, and food supplements. We're making progress, although some of the kids were so malnourished when we started that they still have a ways to go. LI has also provided blankets, kitchen supplies, school supplies, clothes, and a host of other things to help improve their quality of life.

The next step is to teach the ladies to read, write, and do basic math. We started to tackle that back in February.  Let me tell you--it's hard.  Imagine being in your 40's and not even knowing how to hold a pencil.  I'm so proud of them for even being willing to try!  

Before (shack on left) and after (right) shots of Esperanza's home

The third step is repairing their homes to make them safe and weatherproof or providing new housing for those in extreme situations. So far, through LI I have built one home, completely redone another, and purchased land for another construction. That home will be finished by mid-July, at which time I will begin the repairs to the other existing homes that have serious safety issues. 

So now it's time to move on to the last step--teaching the ladies a skill that they can use to make their own money.   In order to do that, we have to have place in which to work--a secure space where we can install and leave the necessary equipment. Up to this point, the church in Chicol has graciously allowed me to use their building to run Loving InDeed, but we have outgrown that facility.  It's time to have a place of our own, AND I HAVE FOUND THE SPOT in a tiny village called Los Arroyos-- "the streams" in English, an appropriate name for this fertile little nook. The little piece of land in the photo below could be the future site of the Loving InDeed ministry center! I've been to see it twice now, and the more I think about it, the more I love it.  It has road access, mature fruit trees (lime, orange, mandarin, guava, and coffee--oh my!), lots of lush greenery, a two-room house with electricity, access to water (I'd own part of the river on both sides!), and no noisy neighbors!  I'm praying about it and seeking the advice of some knowledgeable people, both local and American, but it's hard not to get excited.  The ministry center has been in my heart and mind for two years now.  The thought that it could become a reality soon just amazes me!  So once again, I need you.  First, please pray for wisdom!  Buying land is a huge step.  I also need to reach a decision about which skills to teach as that will be a major determining factor in regard to the size of the land I need.  I have ruled out animals, as much as that breaks my heart.  They’re not lucrative unless you have a big farm, and I could never kill a farm animal.  Gardening is too dependent on the weather which has been very unstable these past few years. Hail, flooding, and drought are all too common around here.  Small greenhouses might be an option, but it would be more for each individual family's use and not to make money, per se. So right now I'm thinking of things we could do indoors or with limited outdoor space. Candle-making was suggested to me.  There are lots of people out in Santa Barbara who do not have electricity, and there is no one out there who makes or sells taper candles. The demand is high, and the candles are inexpensive and simple to make. Another idea is raising bees and selling honey.  I’d need to do a lot of research about that before starting and it takes a while to get the production of honey going, but it does seem to be lucrative and require little space.  I've also considered sewing/embroidery projects and cooking/baking. Obviously, I need supernatural wisdom as these are pretty big decisions that will affect a lot of people.

The river is to the left, and the property stretches to the other side of it.  

Secondly, I need money.  I have been saving for the land for a while and have a significant chunk on hand, but I am still short about ten thousand dollars.  When land is up for sale in Santa Barbara, it usually goes fast, but I know that if God is in it, He’ll provide.  If you’d like to help, you can visit www.cten.org/lynnannmurphy and click on the donate button to make a tax-deductible donation.  Any amount helps! 

Thanks again for your confidence in me, your love for people you’ve never met, and your willingness to sacrifice to help others!  I know times are tough in the states too, and you work hard for what you have.  It makes me appreciate your donations all the more.  May God bless each and every one of you and multiply back to you the blessing you have been to me!

Oh Ye Of Little Faith

October 2010--Jessie had just arrived in
 Guatemala two months prior.  Just a baby!

I have struggled with doubt at various times in my life. This may shock some of you since missionaries are on a higher spiritual plane than everyone else (HAHAHAHA!), but I've had thoughts like:  Is the Bible REALLY God's inspired word? Do we have ALL of it? Am I really saved?  If I am really saved, why do I still struggle with this, and that, and the other thing?  Did God really forgive me for that?  And forget it?  If God really loves me, why did he let my papa die?  If He's all powerful, why didn't He heal my dad of ALS? Did God really call me to Guatemala or was that my own hairbrained idea? Should I really have taken my little genius child away from family and everything familiar to go live in a dangerous third world country with a second-rate educational system?  Was that faith or idiocy?  I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

Honestly, I think most Christians struggle with doubt sometimes, we just don't like to admit it or talk about it publicly.  I'm teaching through the book of Matthew in two different Bible studies, and today we got to Matthew chapter 11.  That's the chapter where John the Baptist--the man who earlier in his life had exclaimed, "Behold the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!"--sent his followers to Jesus to ask Him if He was really the Messiah or if they should quit wasting their time and go look for someone else. Now that's some serious doubt, and right to Jesus's face, no less!  But Jesus's response to John's doubt is very reassuring.  He tells John's followers to remind John of what he's seen and heard.  And then instead of scolding or belittling him, Jesus goes on to tell the rest of the crowd how John is one of the greatest men to have ever lived!  It would appear that John's doubts didn't faze Jesus one bit.  This whole story got me to thinking and then studying about how to handle doubt.  It helped me so much, that I thought I'd pass it along to you guys, on the off chance that some of you have ever struggled with doubt.  The following is a compilation of God's thoughts on the subject, my own thoughts on it,  and some things I've read from others while researching this subject.  So here goes:  six ways to combat doubt.

      1.  Talk to God about it.  That's what John did.  He had doubts, and since he was in prison and couldn't go to Jesus himself, he sent his followers on his behalf.  I think it's a good example to follow. Most times when I have doubts, I don't usually bring them to the Lord.  Instead I mull them over, which is a tactful way of saying that I overanalyze them until I drive myself crazy. So instead, tell God about your doubts.  You're not going to surprise Him.  

      2.  Go back to what you know to be true.  That's what Jesus told John's followers to do.  "Remind John of what he's seen...the blind can see, the deaf can hear, the sick are healed, the dead have been raised..." John had seen these things with his own eyes.  Has God ever done anything wonderful in your life?  He has mine.  So when you're going through a time of doubt, remind yourself of those times when God came through for you.  Things you've seen with your own eyes.

      3.  Get in the Word.  Jesus also told John's followers to remind him of what he'd heard.  Of course, John had heard Jesus's voice in person with his own ears.  Clearly he's got us beat there.  But we do have God's word.  Want more faith?  "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God..." (Rom. 10:17)  So read it!

Ever wondered how big a mustard seed is?
Here you have it!

       4.  Remember it's not the quantity of your faith that matters--it's Who your faith is in that matters.  Jesus saves.  I don't save myself with my great faith.  It only takes a mustard seed.

      5.  If you're feeling low on faith, borrow some! "Iron sharpens iron..." according to the wisest man who ever lived.  (Solomon in Proverbers 27)  So when you're having doubts, go talk to someone who's feeling full of faith.  You'll leave encouraged! Besides, it's good to admit our issues to other Christians. Why do we think we have to pretend to be so perfect all the time anyway?

      6.  Act on your faith, not on your doubts.  If Noah hadn't acted on his faith rather than his doubts, we wouldn't even be here.  Then there's Abraham, Peter, David, Gideon, Mary, Joshua, Caleb and on, and on and on...all had some pretty serious things to doubt about at various points in their lives, but they chose to act on their faith instead of their doubts.  And so can we.

Remember--doubt is not the opposite of faith. Unbelief is the opposite of faith.  And doubt is not a sin.  Doubt is simply evidence that you have faith in something you cannot see or prove.

I hope this list helps you as much as it's helped me.  If you have other things you do to help you through times of doubt, I'd sure like to hear your ideas!  I think I'm going to make a big list and write it my Bible for the next time I have doubts...probably tomorrow.  Onward and upward!

Jesus, Come Quickly!

 

Beautiful Santa Barbara, Huehuetenango

Santa Barbara is Huehuetenango's poorest municipality, made up entirely of Mam-speaking indigenous people who have been abused and abandoned by a government not truly their own. It is also one of Huehue's most violent areas, which isn't hard to believe since crime and poverty generally go hand in hand.   These facts are usually the last thing on my mind when I'm working out there; I rarely feel unsafe.  However, there are days like today when reality comes knocking and reminds me that even though it is stunningly beautiful, it is a dangerous area. I'm going to tell you what I learned today for two reasons:  so you get a better feel for what it's like to live here in rural Huehue and so that you can pray more knowledgeably.  Jesus is the only One who can make a lasting change here.

Today I was talking to my assistant, Marina, about one of the ladies in the LI program who we'll call Glendi for privacy's sake. Glendi and her children need some significant assistance with their housing, but before I do anything about that, I needed to be sure of her marital situation. I knew her husband had left her years ago for another woman and had heard sketchy details of Glendi's revenge for this act, but I didn't know the whole truth.  I had also heard rumors that the ex-husband was back in the picture.  Marina was pretty emphatic that he was not.  I was curious about why she was SO emphatic about it, so she told me the rest of the story.  Glendi was so angry with the woman her ex-husband had run off with that she enlisted the help of her nieces to hold this woman down while she violated her with a large stick.  The internal damage was so extensive that she died in agony the next day. The only witness was the victim's own mother who happens to be mute. The story came out because the victim's brother could decipher his mother's gestures and grunts.  But since there were no witnesses to the crime who could testify, and because it takes money that people don't have in order to prosecute someone here, Glendi got away with murder.  Because Glendi's children are all malnourished and I don't want to punish them for their parent's choices, I have allowed Glendi to remain in the program.  Well, that and the fact that I don't want to anger her!  She doesn't know that I even know her story.

Right after hearing that little tidbit, I interviewed two new ladies for the program.  One is married and has 4 young children, but her husband had been in jail for the past two years, and no one seems to have any idea when he'll get out.  He got into a drunken brawl and plucked another man's eye out with his bare hands.  

The other woman I interviewed--we'll call her Cindi--had recently lost her father.  He was working in a coffee plantation and saw a woman get bitten by a snake.  The plantations are full of them...corals, to be specific.  And they're venomous.  So this man went running to the boss to ask for help.  Not wanting to spend any money or waste any time on a "worthless indigenous woman," the boss pulled out a gun and shot him point blank in the chest.  The nearest medical clinic was a three hour walk from the plantation.  He bled out on the way.  (The boss's sons were able to temporarily hide their dad until he could escape, but fortunately he was found and is now in jail.) Two weeks after having lost her father, Cindi's husband beat her ruthlessly--bad enough that she was laid up in the bed and couldn't care for her two kids, both under age 2.  Her brothers came to visit, found her in that condition, and brought her back home to live with her newly widowed mother.  Her husband has shown no remorse. In fact, he has stated that he will continue to beat her if she returns, so she'll remain with her mother.  

As appalling as these stories are, they really aren't all that uncommon here.  In fact, I can't think of a single woman in LI who doesn't have a horrible story in her past.  Sometimes I feel very unequipped to help them deal with these things.  The best I can do is listen, give them a hug, and try to help them out of their current difficulties.  We all covet your prayers.  We have made an awful mess of our world, haven't we?  Come quickly, Jesus!

When The Poor And Needy Seek Water...

Telma with 5 of her 6 kids.  

Last week the Living Waters for the World team was here in Huehue, installing more water purification systems.  My dear friend and leader of that team, Bob Swope, usually finds time in his busy schedule to come have an adventure with me on some terrible dirt road while he's here.  Bob's a very sociable guy and likes to visit and keep up with what is going on with Loving InDeed.  This time I took him up to Tuicogel where I teach the Bible study on Monday mornings, then we went a bit farther up to visit with Telma, one of my favorite LI widows. I've written about her before. Bob's mind is always on water wherever we go in Huehue, and Telma's house was no different.  It took no time at all for him to ask her where she got her water from.  Telma explained that she'd inherited a small plot of land from her father and worked very hard to be able to buy more land around it.  Her land stretches down the mountain into the valley below, but it is steep and rocky, which is why she was able to afford it all those years ago. She said she had a spring of sorts down in that ravine.  Bob's curiosity got the best of him, and he asked her if she'd show us the spring.  It was a looooong way down!

Even two year old Lorenzo  joined in the "fun" and was scrubbing a sock!
 Why is it that when kids are old enough to actually be useful,
 they cease to be interested?

When we finally arrived, we found that her two little girls, Claudia (12) and Yulisa (8) were down there washing clothes. (Video at bottom of the post.) There were actually two springs, and they use the smaller one that's farther downhill to wash clothes in. That one's only about 2 feet deep and as big around as the top of a big trash can.  The other one was a bit bigger around and probably 4 feet deep, which is still a good amount of water since rainy season is only just now beginning.  Telma explained to us that she allows families from all around her to use water from that spring, and she charges them nothing. She's just such a kind, generous soul!  Trying to get a feel for how much water the spring was producing, Bob asked her how long she'd been using it. Her response left us both with our mouths gaping open.

Telma using a big stick
to show us the depth of
her spring.

Telma said she'd bought this piece of land 9 years prior.  As she was exploring it, she found these holes, but they were dry.  Knowing she needed water to survive, she went to town, bought candles, went back into the ravine, lit the candles, and stayed there praying until God filled the holes with water.  She's never run out since.  It reminded us of the the widow in the OT whose oil never ran out. It took several moments for Bob and I to even know what to say. 

Isaiah 41:17   "When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the Lord will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them."

One of Life's Unanswerable Questions

Of all the negative emotions that a missionary typically faces like homesickness, loneliness, frustration, sadness, or doubt, the one that plagues me more than any other is guilt.  I understand that it is not logical to feel guilty about something that God ordained--I didn’t choose to be born in the United States with all the benefits and privileges that that entails—but knowing that my feelings are illogical doesn’t help me much. 

When I go to the river, it's for fun.  I don't have to bathe or wash my clothes there.  My bed is not a board with flea-infested blankets.  If the price of chicken goes up by 25 cents a pound, I don’t have to worry about it. I have a private toilet inside my house, and it flushes and everything! So why do I get to live this life of relative luxury when others struggle just to survive? I have posed that question to various people lately, and I usually get an answer that’s something like this:  “Well, God knew that you’d use what you have to help others.” While that may be true, you have to admit that being the helper is WAY better than being the helpee. The helper has the money, the power, the options…the helpee is voiceless.  It’s not fair, and it bugs me. It’s also an unsolvable issue.  There will always be the haves and the have-nots.  Jesus himself said that.

The other day I got stuck on the mountain.  (Nanny, if you’re reading this, skip this paragraph.)  I had reached a point in the road where I really didn’t think I could go any farther, but I couldn’t back up either. The road was so narrow—mountain on one side, cliff on the other—and when you’re short you have a lot of blind spots.  One tiny false move, and I’d be meeting Jesus face to face.  So I parked the truck and got out, trying to figure out what to do.  A nice man came out to meet me and said, “What are you doing here?  Don’t you know this road is impassable?” “Well, I do now.”   It was so bad that I seriously considered abandoning my truck and walking home.  In this middle of this mess, a young girl came up to talk to me, giving this horrific trip some purpose.

She asked if I remembered her father, Marcos.  He was in Loving InDeed that first year when I was taking poor families, not just widows.  And yes, I most definitely remembered him.  I met him a month and a half after his wife had died leaving him to raise 10 kids alone.   Marcos’s daughter went on to tell me that her father had gotten remarried, but her new stepmother didn’t want anything to do with all those children, so they abandoned them.  They moved out and left 8 children (2 have since gotten married and moved out) to fend for themselves.  The 18 year old brother has taken on the role of father, and the 17 year old sister acts as the mother. The other 6 kids range in age from 3 to 16.  They are all malnourished.  Needless to say, they are the newest members of Loving InDeed. When I visited them, half of them were running around barefoot with giant holes in their clothes.  When they found out I’d brought them some food, they were ecstatic. As I loaded up each item, I asked the oldest sister, Veronica, if she knew what it was and how to cook it.  Half the time, the answer was no.  Her mother had died when she was only 14.  She really wasn’t ready to take on the role of mom to 6 younger siblings. This whole encounter made me livid on so many levels.   And takes me back to my big, unanswerable question:  why not me?  Why is my life so much easier than the majority here? 

There’s one particular part of the movie Schindler’s List that haunts me.  It’s the scene where Oscar Schindler looks at the ring on his finger and is outraged with himself because he’d kept it.  It could have been used to save one more person, after all.  There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think of that scene…when I buy something in the grocery store instead of the open air market…when I get back home from making visits all sweaty and dirty and get to take a shower…when I buy myself a new pair of shoes…when we go out to eat…guilt, guilt, guilt. 

I think this issue is one that bothers a lot of missionaries, honestly.  It’s a whole different ball of wax when you’re faced with deep poverty every time you set foot out your front door.  What’s even more aggravating is that if this disparity in lifestyle doesn’t wrack me with guilt, I swing the other direction and become totally immune to it.  People become faceless—just one more sob story in a sea of hopelessness. 

It seems to me that most times when someone writes about a problem in a blog, they give the answer that they’ve discovered at the end.  Unfortunately, I can’t do that as I don’t have the answer. The only thing I can figure is to remember that the world already has one Savior, and I'm not Him.  Other than that, I guess this is just one of life’s unanswerable questions…something that only God knows.  

Tears and Testimonies

Tuicogel is a solitary little village as it sits high atop a very steep hill. You'd struggle to walk up or down to the next nearest village. There are about 33 families who live up there, all of them very poor even though they live only half an hour from the city.  This place had no church when the Lord led me to it, so I started a Bible study on my friend Walfre's front patio.  They now have a little church building that they graciously allow me to use. This was my view this morning when I arrived.  I love this place to bits! The seating you see is all they have.  Half the building is made of mismatched wood; the other half of sheet metal roofing.  It is clearly not weatherproof, as is evidenced by the plastic lining the walls.  Every time I come home from there, I get excited that my legs are finally starting to tan, then I realize that it's just dust from their floor.  But it feels like home.  The villagers wait until they can see my truck parked out front, then they slowly trickle in.  By slowly I mean that the Bible study that should start at 10 a.m. rarely starts before 10:45, and even at that, half the crowd doesn't show up for another 15 minutes at least.  

This morning, like every other Monday morning, I was waiting around for people to show up and admiring the gorgeous view from up there. After a while 6 mamas with all their babies in tow came toodling in and we started our study of the story of the demon-possessed mute guy who Jesus healed in Matthew 9.  We talked about how none of us had ever been mute physically, but oftentimes we are mute spiritually--too shy to share our faith or give testimony to the wonderful things the Lord has done for us. Then I did something I had never done before:  I asked them to share something the Lord had done in their lives. I wasn't sure anyone would respond. Indian women are incredibly shy and very private. After a little while though, three ladies spoke up. With tears dripping off their chins, they each shared a story of how God had come through for them in their time of need.  Their stories blessed me so much that I wanted to share them with you too.

•   "About 4 years ago my little girl was very sick.  We spent everything we had to take her to different doctors, but no one could figure out what was wrong with her.  She just laid in her bed.  She didn't want to move or be touched or held.  I thought she would die.  Finally we decided that the only thing left to do was fast and pray, so we did.  And God healed my girl.  She is perfectly fine today." 
•  "A few years ago, I got very sick.  My husband refused to take me to the doctor.  I was in pain all the time and had no one to care for me.  All I could do was pray.  I fasted for 20 days, and spent much time in prayer.  With no doctors and no medicine, God healed me.  I have no more pain."
• "When my firstborn girl was 10 months old, she got very ill.  She had constant diarrhea and was very weak.  I took her to the emergency room of the National Hospital, and they gave her and IV, but she didn't seem to be getting any better.  I called my husband to tell him what was happening; he was working in the city at the time.  He told me to just let her die.  I cried and cried.  I didn't want my baby to die!  But after a while, God chose to heal my baby, and I got to bring her home." (The little girl in this story is one of my very favorite Loving InDeed kids.  In fact, I wrote about her in a previous blog, Telma's Legacy, which is highlighted to the left.)

Claudia proudly shows off the new goats that were gifted to her family
through Loving InDeed.  We're hoping that fresh goat's milk will help
Claudia and her 5 siblings gain some weight and improve their health.

As I sat there listening to these ladies pour their hearts out, my own heart flooded with gratitude. I'm teaching Bible to Mam Indians in the middle of nowhere--it's the stuff of my childhood fantasies!  I can't believe God lets me do this!  

The Widow Maker

There are an infinite number of things--diseases, natural disasters, gang related issues, and on and on the list goes-- that could aptly be named "widow makers" in this country.  For that matter, the Pan-American highway could be called a widow maker.  It's so much better than it used to be, but there are still lots of places where you could find yourself face to face with Jesus if you weren't paying attention to the fact that the lane you're in has fallen off the mountain, or that the pothole you're about to hit is big enough to swallow your whole car, or that there's a sinkhole that's taken a chunk of median out, or that you are now sharing a lane with oncoming traffic,....but today's post is about none of those things.  Today I'm writing to you about the bane of my existence--our shower.

Why in the world is our shower called a widow maker, you ask?  Well, it's simple, really.  With the exception of rich people and fancy hotels, no one here has a hot water heater.  Since I am not rich, this includes our house.  As a matter of fact, as you can see in the picture, there is only one knob in the shower.  It's for cold water. Now see that green contraption with all the live wires hanging out of it?  There's a close-up below. That's the widow maker.  As the water comes into the bathroom, it goes through that green canister where there is a live wire that heats the water just before it falls out of the showerhead. Sound dangerous?  It is.  Hence it's name. So what keeps us from electrocuting ourselves every time we bathe?  The fact that the water does not fall in a steady stream, but rather in drops that break up the electrical current.  So if you're tall (which thankfully Jessie and I are not) you have to be super careful not to actually touch the showerhead while water is coming out, because if you do, you're going to get zapped.  (In all honestly, I've only ever heard of one person who died here using this contraption, and I think he was single...no widow left behind.) 

Now add to that the fact that we sometimes have running water and sometimes not, that we sometimes have electricity and sometimes not, and that when we DO have elecricity, it's terrible because it's only 110, (and sometimes I question that) and you might begin to understand why I have such a love/hate relationship with our shower.  If our water pressure is too low, the widow maker will not switch on and we get a cold shower.  If it is too forceful, it will switch on but not heat the water enough, and we get a cold shower.  Sometimes we get hot water just until I have put conditioner in my hair, and then for some ridiculous reason it switches itself off. The little dance that ensues is always fun, especially when it's 50 degrees inside the house because we have no indoor heat either.

So why am I telling you all this? Partly to give you a little taste of what life can be like here, and partly to vent, I suppose.  I truly shouldn't complain.  Most of my friends  get to bathe in the dirty river or with a bucket of cold water.  Our frigid, potentially lethal shower is definitely a cut above that. But since we have electricity, running water, and a widow maker, I expect that I should get to take a hot shower.  Then when I can't, I find myself getting pretty frustrated.  Ok, mad. So mad I could spit nails. But I have visited places where a hot shower is not even an option, and it didn't frustrate or anger me because I had no expectation of a hot shower.    So this shower situation got me to analyzing the role that expectations play in our attitude.  Could it be that the majority of our frustration stems from unmet expectations? And if that's true, how do we then adjust our expectations?  If I had the answer to that, I suppose I'd be rich enough to get a hot water heater--HAHA!  So far as I can figure, the thing is to recognize that all this real-life craziness that we all live in is temporary. Only eternity matters.  Psalm 62:5 "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him."  I have a funny feeling it won't be long before I have the opportunity to practice that in our freezing cold shower.