1. Never trust a llama. Their sweet little faces are deceiving.
2. Always be prepared. This means having these things on hand: toilet paper, rubber boots, a change of clothes, toilet paper, snacks, a book, nausea medication, a phone charger, a strong pain pill, toilet paper, hidden cash, wasp spray for self-defense, one of those little knives with all the extra gadgets on it (what do you call those things?), and car fix-it stuff that you can sweet talk some random guy into using on your behalf if the need arises. Oh, and toilet paper.
3. Never cut a couple pounds of hot peppers without gloves on and then go to the bathroom.
4. Experience is a wonderful thing. It allows you to recognize a mistake when you've made it again. Refer back to #3.
5. You'll miss a lot of great stuff in life if you always err on the side of caution (except when cutting hot peppers or kissing llamas).
6. Mentally prepare yourself to be able to hear crazy things, stuff down your natural reaction, and respond with kindness. This means learning to control your face and not shriek "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!" when people tell you that rubbing a bloody rat carcass on a rash will cure it or that you need to suck the air out of a woman's uterus with a big syringe after she gives birth because when the baby comes out, air goes back in, and her abdomen could explode.
7. Street tacos are absolutely worth the fallout. Pun definitely intended.
8. You can live just fine without a lot of the stuff you think you need.
9. "Emergencies" are rarely that. Unless it is literally going to kill you, it's not worth getting riled up about.
10. Sometimes a single letter makes all the difference in the world. Try going into a tienda to ask for a comb (peine), leave out the "i", and see what happens.
"Someone once told me that not even for a million dollars would they ever touch a leper. I responded, 'Neither would I. If it were a case of money, I would not even do it for two million. On the other hand, I would do it gladly for the love of God." --Mother Teresa
